Mallu Waters- The New Shizz in Town

If there is one thing that I will continue to crib about, here in Manipal, it will be the lack of proper internet access in my hostel. However, that is not going to get us anywhere. But it did get me to Deepu and Vineeth’s house, and here I am accessing the net from their place. So firstly, thanks for putting up with me, guys.

This post will talk about some, just SOME, of the crazy stuff that we guys are up to most of the time. Not a thing can be spoken about 208, Vaishnavi Bhavan without a mention of Mallu Waters. Now the obvious question is “What on earth is Mallu Waters?” Let me try and explain.

Mallu Waters, besides being the home to an eternally kurta-clad, thick-bearded communist and a football-crazy, loud-mouthed dipsomaniac, is the most happening place in Manipal; or so some of us choose to believe. It has a bar(the bedroom), a dance floor(the living room) and a smoking lounge(get the fuck out of the house if you want to smoke, you Bitch!). The core of the Mallu Waters consists of one Mallu guy(two, actually, but that will not go well with the next bit of the sentence), a Tamil Brahmin girl(who also claims to be in a relationship with the former, but the rest of the world finds it as a ridiculous and hilarious proposition) and a freak of nature who also happens to talk in Tamil. So yeah, the four of them(two Mallus, remember?) form the core of the Mallu Waters.

So what exactly happens there? I guess it will suffice to say that it gets a lot of the attention of old monks who come and go. Not that others don’t come and go, but Mallu Waters would not be Mallu Waters without the Old Monks. And the pickles too, but we will get to that a little later.

Moving on to lesser mortals, like us, now. There are some of us who frequent the place as well. There is this one techie who calls himself Neogenx21. He doesn’t talk much. But when he does, you can’t not appreciate his sarcasm. And in a place like Manipal where absolutely no one seems to get sarcasm, he is one of those few gusts of fresh air in a bloody arid desert. He is also Mallu, by the way. So I think I should say that he is like a single coconut tree standing on a single oasis on the vast Sahara Desert. Or rather, the one guy climbing up the tree to get you that one life saving coconut. And when you come to think of it, it is very much possible to find a Mallu in that very situation, right? So yeah, he is awesome.

There is one other woman, a Mallu this time, who keeps frequenting the place. She is supposed to be the best friend of the guy going out with the “accused” Tamil Brahmin girl. In a way, you can call her the blonde Mallu. I am talking primarily about the IQ level. She is taken, by the way. So those of you still considering you will try your luck, forget it. Her guy is so awesome to her that he openly admits he will trade her for a football. But they are still going out. They will continue doing so. And they frequent Mallu Waters. So when you read about the legends a few years later, you know what made them what they are(will be, rather, but still).

And now we get to the invitees. There are a few people who always figure in the guest list. There is this guy who takes pride in calling himself “Smiley Sil.” Not sure if his being Oriya has anything to do with such a name, but let me not try analysing that a bit too much, and say a few nice things about him as well. He, I am sure, will help design amazing posters and flexes for the promotion of Mallu Waters, when the core decides to go big. For now, subtle publicity is the mantra. Just to test the waters(pun might be intended).

We then move on to a bevy of girls(NOT hot chicks) from “Smiley Sil’s” class. One is a kid(physically and mentally) who hates to be called so. Another is a “muscular” Bihari who loves South Indian sweets more than anything else. The third can be a brand ambassador for Gtalk and Skype, as she is on them ALL the time talking to a certain someone in Australia. The fourth, well, I really don’t know who she is, but was told that she comes as a part of the package. Doubt if they would be regular visitors, but they are invitees anyway.

We then come to a Mallu with an afro and another with a broken leg. They are both funny in several ways. One is a pain when drunk and another is going to be forced to get drunk very soon. Oops! Did I just give away some inside information? It is all cool, though. I doubt if he will be informed about it by Saturday. I won’t elaborate on them any further as we have a lot more aspects to deal with.

From the final year BAJC class, we have several legendary people. I will not get into the details here as that will need an entire post in itself. I think it will suffice to say that we have people who are capable of getting so high that they will lick the spilt booze off a floor which has not been swept or mopped for ages. It might not sound bad enough, but the video that we have will make anyone, yes, ANYONE, call such people insanely drunk.

Though there are several other aspects to be touched upon, I will now move to the “rules and regulations” right away. Mallu Waters charges a very nominal fee of Rs 10 for couple entry and Rs 15 for stag entry. However, entrance is free for those “chicks” deemed “hot” by the Mallu Waters core. And seeing that there are hardly any “hot chicks” around, it really should not affect the earnings of Mallu Waters.

Another rule, and the most important rule at that, is that everyone respects old monks. An Old Monk is a symbol of hope, of a better tomorrow. And when the Mallu Water-folk have pickle at the time of visits by old monks, they experience nothing short of bliss. However, one thing that will NOT be tolerated in Mallu Waters is random puke in all the wrong places. If anyone were to puke in an undesirable place/manner, he/she will be thrown out unceremoniously.

There are several other rules, a few more members and invitees. But all that will have to wait for another day. This blog post has been delayed for nearly a month now. So a Mallu Waters Part II will be up soon. Wait for it! It will surely not disappoint!

And some serious stuff now(yeah right!) LMFAO!

In the meanwhile, please do keep an eye on the Article-19 topic on Twitter. Also, Article-19 is now a member of Twitter too! For those of you who are not aware of it, Article-19 is the annual fest of Manipal Institute of Communication(MIC). To be more precise, it is India’s first ever core communication fest. It is the pride of MIC.

But most importantly, Mister Bijlee is once again the Mascot of Article-19. And Mister Bijlee is BACKKK!!! I mean, he is back to keep you all posted about his whereabouts. Mister Bijlee is waiting where he has always been. You should go pay him a visit. Like NOWWWW! :-p

The Failed Photoblog

I tried coming up with a photoblog last night. It took me ages to try and figure out ways in which I could upload the pictures. I was told to upload the pictures to photobucket first and then use the links for the blog. And what happened was not surprising at all. I was not able to upload even a single picture on photobucket either, leave alone Orkut or Facebook. So then I tried out something else. I tried giving the links of the pictures on my Orkut album, for the blog. And going by the looks of things, that doesn’t work either. So that is the story of the failed photoblog. My sincere apologies to everyone. I will make up for it soon and will also rectify the very same blog as soon as I can.

So what makes the internet connection here so bad? Here is a bit of background info on that.

I got here to Manipal to be informed by my brother and his friends that the block in which I stay has the fastest LAN in any educational institute in the whole of Asia. I was really pleased about it. The real time download speed was about 6 mbps, which is far more than what I have ever used in the past. But as things always work, there was a catch. Facebook, Orkut, YouTube, etc. were all blocked. As were Torrents, that is. The only way to get around the blocks was to use proxy servers.

I first tried out iphone.facebook.com to access Facebook. It sucked SO bad that I decided not to use Facebook at all till when I managed to get the real thing to work. Then, I tried getting a proxy called “Ultrasurf” which is supposed to work really well here. I was happy that it would finally let me access several sites that I were my lifelines. I was not even able to access gmail on my Mozilla Firefox! So I finally got Ultrasurf and decided to give it a try. After a few failed attempts, I was told that it does not work on certain computers with Windows Vista as the operating system. So I had two options. Either stop trying to access FB, Orkut, YouTube, etc. or get a new OS.

Before I could do either of them, there was talk of the LAN being disconnected for good. And it came true! The LAN was dropped and we were stuck with a lousy WiFi connection called ION. On the bright side, ION did not block anything apart from Torrents and porn. So Orkut, Facebook, YouTube, etc. were back again. But there was a downside. WiFi connections might usually not be so bad, but when you are in the second biggest hostel block in the whole of Asia, with just a couple of routers for the whole block, you sure are not going to be happy with the results. And that was just the case with me. The WiFi sucks big time, and I am having to put up with it.

It takes about 2-3 minutes just to sign into Facebook. I have not managed to sign into gtalk even once since the LAN got blocked. Accessing Orkut is a not as bad, but try uploading even a single picture and you will hate yourself for having tried. If Orkut and Facebook are so bad, do you think you can even manage to view a single video on YouTube? It took me over 10 minutes of waiting to be able to watch 10 seconds of a 30 second video on YouTube. After that, I gave up.

Owing to the fact that many of my friends kept asking me to upload pictures taken during my holiday to Rajasthan, and also the more recent pictures from Manipal, I thought I should not disappoint. So I tried uploading pictures on Facebook, only to be told that I did not have some Java plugin. I downloaded that(it took me well over an hour just to download the installation file) and installed the damned thing. Once I was done, I went back to Facebook to upload the pictures. Apparently, I still did not have the plugin, according to Facebook. I am guessing it was because the net sucked THAT bad. I tried uploading pictures on Orkut and the stupid thing would just not work! ION kept asking me for the password each time I tried to upload a picture, and the upload would just hang right there. So much for uploading pictures on social networking sites using ION!

That is when we come to my blog and photobucket. I manage to sign up on Photobucket, as per my friend’s recommendations, and then try uploading pictures. It is then the same old Orkut story all over again! The upload freezes as soon as it starts. ION promptly asks you for the password and jams everything! So that is when I tried experimenting a bit and gave the links to pictures from my Orkut album in my “photoblog.” And things went pretty much along expected lines. Nothing worked!

So what am I going to try now? I will try giving the links to my Facebook albums instead and hope for the best. If nothing else works, it is “goodbye ION” and “hello private connection!” I have had enough of this crap!

Something New- A Photoblog!

Here are some of the pictures I clicked over the past month. Less than that, actually. There are way too many pictures that I clicked during my trip to Rajasthan and so they will have to wait. Actually, there are way too many pictures even otherwise. Here is a small list of pictures I clicked during the first week of my getting my Nikon D80.

Seeing that I am not able to upload any picture anywhere, I might as well give the link to one of my Facebook albums here. For those of you who have not seen it yet, please do let me know what you think. If you have seen them already, I am sorry about this. Will try fixing the problem soon. You can find the album here.

Update: Here is the link to some of the pictures I clicked during my holiday in Rajasthan. Again, it is a link to my Facebook album.

So much for now. I am not sure if these pictures will even appear properly when you try loading the page. Anyway, I am hoping for the best. Many of you might have seen most of these pictures already. Please do bear with me. I will be back with newer pictures ones I manage to upload them somewhere or the other. The present state of the internet here, in the hostel, is making things worse for me. So stay tuned for more. I will not disappoint.

Manipal: First Impressions

I am writing this post in a hurry, for the fear of the internet being shut down before I manage to complete it. Anyway, here goes.

I got here to Manipal exactly two weeks ago. I was told by my brother and a few of his friends that staying in the hostel made a lot of sense and so I complied. My brother and I moved in together to a double room in Xth block. The problem being that we had to do with common toilets in this block, but well, I was told it was not so bad. So here I come on the 26th of July, to do my MS in Communication, staying in Block X of the MIT hostels.

It all seemed fine for the first couple of days. The food in the mess seemed pretty fine. I got paneer on a daily basis and so I thought it was not a bad deal at all. I wondered why my brother, like many others, chose to eat out every once in a while. The first day of college was pretty okay. The orientation program was boring, but I was looking forward to meeting all the teachers, to be able to discuss about every subject, in order to be able to pick my electives.

So I finally decided to drop Media in Security and Terrorism and also Photography, apart from other boring subjects like Business Media and Media Laws and Ethics. I decided to attend all classes on Photography and Security and Terrorism anyway. But let me not bore you people with academics an stuff. So yeah, my bike arrived here almost a week after I got here. In the meanwhile, we had an “interaction session” with the seniors which some anonymous classmates of mine screwed up by tipping off the staff about. A pity indeed, because it was fun(and also because I was the first one to “introduce” myself, and just a few others had their turn before the session was called off owing to the complaint). So anyway, we had a good time getting to know each other, and I am glad that I had to go first, in a way.

By the end of the first week I was down with a bad flu. About 60% of my class was down with a flu by then, actually, and not everyone was as unlucky as I was. My brother actually bunked classes(a very convenient excuse?) and took care of me. Actually, I couldn’t have done without his help. So anyway, by the time I recovered fully, two major events took place. The first being that my bike got confiscated by the security section. I will not bitch about it just yet, because I would like to have my bike back sometime in the near future, and don’t want to screw my chances.

The second major happening(for me) was that I got elected to be the class representative. It might sound like a small and kidding thing, but it sure does mean a lot to me. I take this as a really good start to my 2-year term here, in MIC. I am also hoping that I get my bike back sometime soon. It might sound unreasonable when they ask you to pay Rs 1000 to have your own bike back, under the condition that you leave the hostel with the bike or send the bike back to your hometown, but those are the rules that the place has. And yes, I will have to try and comply with them.

We had a second “interaction session” with our seniors by the end of the second week in college. This time, they were considerate enough to let me go last. But I still had to do the catwalk and walk the ramp to “prove my modelling experiences.” I did not complain, though. Somehow, I think I managed pretty okay. But I will not forgive Faizan for recording the whole thing and putting it up on YouTube. The link to the video will NOT be disclosed on my blog. So no point asking me! And Faizan, I will get back at you soon. You wait and watch! Hehe! Just kidding! Actually not, but still.

I now hardly ever eat the the mess, because somehow, I just can’t get myself to eat there anymore. I mean, it is not that the food is bad or anything. I guess I just lost my appetite for good, ever since I was down with flu. Need to work on it if I need to continue with gym and football at the same time. Talking of which, I was forced to attend the football “tryouts” by a couple of my classmates. Sadly for me, it went pretty well and I am more or less in the team. I quit football over a year ago because my gym trainer asked me to. It is only after that that I managed to put on some mass. With my new diet(the lack of it, rather), clubbed with football, my gym trainer back in Chennai is not going to be happy at all.

But anyway, life must go on. The past two weeks have been pretty crazy. Some good things, and some not-so-nice things. But on the whole, I guess all this was not totally unexpected. Barring a few things, that is. But yes, one thing is certain, I am getting to see a lot of new things on a daily basis, and I sure as hell am not complaining. All this is loads of fun. So what if I have a lousy internet connection which does not let me do half of what I would like to do? I can always get a private connection, right? So what if my bike got confiscated? I can always try getting it back, right? And so what if the hostel seems to be a pain at times? I can always move out of the hostel whenever I want to, if things come down to that, right?

So yes, life does go on. And I am loving every bit of this!

Why NOT Sathyabama: Part 1

Now this is something I was discussing with my friend Shankar the other day when he told me that Sathyabama was going to launch a satellite in 2010. My reaction: “WTF?!?!?! You must be kidding me! That is insane!” After a minute or two, I realised that it was not really something to be all that surprised about. I checked out the news article and laughed my arse off several times. Here is why:

First, it states that “The Indian Space Research Organisation (ISRO) will launch a nano satellite designed and developed by students of Sathyabama University for free.” Sathyabama doing some such thing for free? LMFAO! Yeah right! It has an ulterior motive always. AL-effing-WAYS! It then goes on to say that the satellite will “study air and earth surface pollution.” For a guy who does not have a single tree in the entire university campus to come out with a public statement that he wants to study the air and surface pollution, he really must have some balls. Sadly, most people still fall for it.

But that is not all. It says that the ISRO’s chairman confirmed this news “after interacting with students associated with designing the satellite at Sathyabhama University.” I will tell you something. Neither me nor my friend Shankar has seen or heard of a single student who has been working on anything to do with the ISRO, leave alone building a satellite. Yes, the college does boast of having some tie ups with the ISRO, but it only boasts. I have seen a board or two in college which says ISRO or some such thing, but have always found such boards outside locked and/or empty rooms. And for the university to claim that “A Space Technology Centre has been established to conduct advanced research in rocketry, satellites and space applications in university campus,” it is absolute trash, the way many of us (ex)students look at it. Something along the lines of the Nanotechnology Research Centre that Sathayabama has been claiming to be building for over 5 years now, but we haven’t seen a single brick being laid in that direction. Jeppiaar has even been claiming that the DRDO(Defence Research and Development Organisation) has requested him(his college) to make “nano banians!” Nano “vests,” that is. It will “keep the army men cool in summer and warm in winter.” A nice idea indeed, but shouldn’t they have at least started SOMETHING nano before doing any such thing? How about building a block for starters? And how about NOT talking about the projects which the country’s defence research organisation wants to work on? Loser!

I literally fell off my sofa(I do get to be lazy while using the laptop late in the night, don’t I?) when I read that the design department “includes a team of 27 students to build the satellite.”

27 students?!?!?! LMFAO! Can you name one, please? And then I read this:

“The third-year engineering students were selected by ISRO after a screening process that included a written test and interview.”

Okay, now that seems plausible, right? Wrong! Knowing the way Sathyabama works, I am SURE that that is not how things would have worked. Anyway, I will give them(the ISRO and NOT Sathyabama) the benefit of the doubt.

“It is impressive to see that the students developing the concept quickly. Their clarity of concept and commitment to completing the project by the end of the year is impressive,” Nair said- I have too many not-so-nice-things to say in response to this and so I might as well skip that.

Now if you thought that even all that was fine, you need to check out the very last line of the article. Here is how it reads:

Jeppiar, pro chancellor, Sathyabama University said: “We are planning to buy a 15-seater aircraft soon. An air hostess training course will also be started to benefit students from rural areas.” He is buying a 15-seater aircraft for air hostess training for girls from rural areas? Sounds very much like the nursing college that he had(I am not sure if it still exists) and there were LOADS of rumours that he did several things he should not have done to those “girls from poor backgrounds.” Something I was totally shocked to hear that first, as I actually respected(and still do, but to a lower extent than I did initially) the guy. And he says will run an air hostess training academy using a 15-seater aircraft! He expects people to believe this humbug?! The worst part is, they will! Oh! And that statement of his must have been funny as hell when he actually said it. The journalist who interviewed him must have died laughing, and it must have been framed to seem like a sensible statement by someone who had the notes or something(and died laughing eventually reading those notes several times). Want to know what the guy talks like? Check this and this.

So what do I have to say to those who are considering they will get their kids to join Sathyabama? DON’T you ever make that mistake! Many a parent has regretted it, and a lot many students feel even worse.  The only thing that the college was known for is the food that it serves in its mess halls. And even that is much worse than what it was 3-4 years ago. The quality of teaching is as sub-standard as it has ever been, though some of the staff put in the effort. Hats off to those few. The rest of them are there, I quote, “because it pays more than many other colleges in the city, and has friendlier timings. Women can get back home to meet their kids just in time when the kids get back from school.” If that is the reason why lecturers and professors stick to the college, you seriously do need to reconsider getting yours kids to join the institution(not sure if this place even ethically qualifies to be called that). It is only after you join the place and spend a couple of years there that you get to know that not even the staff are happy with the place. They are there because they have no choice. Stuck , would be an apt term, I guess.

So while you still have the choice, stay away from the place. Far FAR away. You will not regret it. And you can actually go “Awwwww” or “HAHAHAHAHA” at the unfortunate ones like me who did get in(and luckily out too) to the “hell hole,” as we call it.

I am sorry for having a slightly serious post this time. Many might complain, I am sure. I assure you that the next one will be more entertaining, and yet filled with more convincing facts.

Bloody Human Chimneys of Death!

Now what could a guy possibly be talking about when he says “bloody human chimneys of death?” Any guesses? The one guessing it right wins a no-expense-paid trip to Somalia!

Well, I am talking about the faggots who smoke their arses off day in and day out, much to the annoyance of many a passive smoker. It is fine if you come across one or two such people each day as they can be easily avoided, but when every other person you meet each day is a smoker, it seriously starts to piss you off if you don’t want your lungs to be the cause of your death, for no fault of yours.

I have had a few conversations with my uncle, a doctor, about passive smoking. According to him, there is little than can be done to set the damage right. So it makes sense to go on a holiday to some hill station every few months, as that trip might act as an elixir, with a lot of fresh, clean air. And that is exactly what I thought I would experience before I set off to Ooty(a hill station) along with my gym friends. About 35 of us on the whole. Did I have an awesome time there? Well, sort of. But it would have been MUCH better if I did not have to put up with drunkards and “bloody human chimneys of death” ALL the time.

Sharing a cottage with 6 other guys is not that bad. Each cottage was big enough to house about 6-8 people and so that was not an issue. The fact that about 25 of the 35 guys were drunk for the best part of the 3 days was also not an issue for me. What WAS an issue was that over half the guys had to keep smoking ALL the time. Here are some of the excuses that some of the smokers come up with each time they pick up a cigarette:

Fag 1: On waking up; I need a fag to get my day started. It acts like a hot cuppa early in the morning.

Fag 2: I can’t take a crap without a fag. (This gives them the license to fill the bathroom with smoke and make sure that it stays that way for at least 15 minutes. It also strengthens my hypothesis that that smokers lose control of their sphincters)

Fag 3: The morning cuppa/tea HAS to go with a fag. Only then do I manage to wake up fully and start the day’s work.

Fag 4,5 and 6: Each meal of the day must be accompanied by a fag because it helps digest my food(and maybe that is why you take ages in the toilet and need fags to build the pressure).

Fag 6 and 7(could be up to fag 15): While on breaks at work, I need a smoke or two to keep me going. The bigger the loser I am, the greater the frequency of my smoke-breaks.

Fag 8: I need a fag before I get home as that is the last fag of the day that I can have in peace. But that will not stop me from going to the terrace to have a quick smoke or two at night. Or maybe the toilet yet again, if the terrace if not private enough.

Fag 9: What is the terrace/bathroom for?

Fag 10: I can’t manage to fall asleep without a smoke. It need a smoke to put me to sleep. (This strengthens my hypothesis that smoking causes the brain to ooze out of your ears over a period of time. How else can people come up with such moronic excuses?!)

My response: You fucking prick, how can the same cigarette put you to sleep AND wake you up?! Stop giving lame-arse excuses, you piece of crap! I wish people would flush down the toilets, the morons who give such lame arse excuses for the sake of a few puffs, in the very same way that they flush down the cigarette butts after finishing their morning activities. It is just bloody lame!

Okay, I know that it might sound a bit too harsh and stuff considering the fact that I have friends who smoke, but I am not against all of them. There are many who respect non-smokers, and that is something that I deeply respect. If you know someone who has a problem with smoke, don’t smoke with him/her aroun no matter what. It is a proven fact that smoking affects passive smokers more than it affects the smokers themselves. Reason? For those of you who have remained ignorant of this fact for all these years, smokers don’t usually fill their lungs with all the harmful smoke that the cigarettes emit. But when they blow it out, we passive smokers breathe it all in. Meaning, the harmful contents reach all corners of our lungs, even though it doesn’t have the same effect on the smokers. And that is precisely the reason why parents are asked not to smoke when they are near their children. But then again, some people are total dunderheads, and they will never understand.

What do I tell my gym friends who keep smoking all day, everyday? “If you want to kill yourself, go ahead. But you bloody well don’t smoke and kill everyone around you!” If they really want to smoke and “enjoy” it all by themselves, let them go sit in closed air-tight rooms and smoke all they want till they breathe every last bit of the smoke. Making others breathe that smoke is just not fair! Like I said, kill yourself if you want to. Killing others is just NOT done!

Here are a few videos that I felt I must share. Nandhu, thanks for giving me some of the links right away.

This next ad is on passive smoking.

This last one might be kind of gay, but it packs it many facts.

More coming up soon on the callous treatment of the issue of smoking by the government. It is funnier than it is sad, in that case, and I have photographs which prove how dumb the government of India is. More on that later. For now, let the debate begin! All you smoking dumb FOKs out there, bring it on! The comments section is waiting for you.

Colleges and the Pains that Students Suffer

The past few days have been almost entirely about the Indian students in various parts of the world. In India and Australia, primarily. It started with the news of the racial discrimination against Indian students in Australia, and has now progressed to highlight the “capitation fee” scam in the private colleges in the country. For about a week now, people the world over have been hearing a lot about Indian students being ill treated in Australia(and some other parts of the world too), to such an extent that there have been several cases of murder, attempt to murder, suicide, etc. owing to these “racist” factors. It amuses me, in a way, because I thought it was something everyone knew about! Indians are not really given royal treatment in most parts of the world. Not even in India!

When people first spoke of the case Sravan Kumar, my reaction was: “not another case which will be forgotten in less than a week!” But I guess I was wrong. The reason being, several other such cases started to surface. Take for example the case of the 21-year-old Indian student who was slashed across his chest with a box-cutter knife, when he failed to give five Aussie men a few cigarettes and some petty cash. Now isn’t that something which people usually get to hear in the American suburbs?

Exactly my point!

Such things happen ALL the time EVERYWHERE! Just that this is one incident, a series of events, rather, which has managed to surface at the right time. Students are applying to universities and are completing their visa procedures at around this time of the year. Many Indian students will leave the country for their master’s in a couple of months from now. So I guess that is one reason why this has been taken seriously. Had the timing been any different, I seriously doubt if the reaction would have been of this magnitude. Many such news stories never surface.

Let us face it, racial discrimination goes on everywhere. The US, the UK, Canada, Australia, most of Europe, you name it! Though the degree varies from place to place, racism can be described as a “ubiquitous” phenomenon. My friend recently did his project in a very highly reputed college in the US. People would give their right hands for a seat in that college. And this friend of mine tells me that it is not just the students, but faculty and other scientists as well who have to face the brunt of racism. Most countries will deny such things before you can bat an eyelid, but sadly, this is the harsh reality.

Moving on, the next big news this week was about students having a tough time in colleges in India, especially in places like Chennai. A more recent development is the “capitation fees” scandal that has been “exposed” in a couple of medical colleges. Though there is a lot being spoken about in the news, all that is just the tip of the iceberg.

Almost all private colleges Each and every private college in India runs with the sole purpose of minting money for the owner(s). Medical colleges usually fetch the biggest sums, but the student intake is not very high. Engineering colleges get the biggest chunk of students, and so the “capitation fee/donation” is lower. Arts and science colleges have a smaller margin, but the infrastructure hardly costs much either, and so it is still a good bargain.

This whole episode started when a first year student from St. Joseph’s Engineering College committed suicide a few days ago when the college authorities “did not allow him to take his model exams(pre-final exams, towards the end of every semester), because he had cheated during the practical examinations.” Nothing wrong there, if you ask me. However, it goes without saying that the student would not have been allowed to appear in the semester exams conducted by Anna University either. The guy ended up committing suicide, and left behind 4 letters in his shirt pocket. Two of the letters are said to have been burnt by the college authorities upon being discovered. The two letters, according to witness accounts, spoke about the college. One other letter was addressed to the boy’s parents, and the last letter spoke about his reasons for having committed suicide. He urged the college to return the capitation fee his parents had paid because it would help his brother get a much needed ear operation, for which his parents had no way of raising funds. Sad, isn’t it?

The college authorities immediately came out strongly saying that any college would have taken strong action against students who resorted to malpractice in the exams. Fair enough. But the morons went on to say that they “had no intention of preventing the student from taking his semester exams because of such an offence, and that this misconception made him take the drastic step.” Why do I call them morons? Because guys from Jeppiaar Engieering College, a sister concern of St Joseph’s Engineering College, joined their brothers in the strike and brought out cases where 7 students were not given permission to take their semester exams! Not one or two, but 7!

I am really glad that many things have now come out in the open as a result of this controversy, but I feel sad that a student had to lose his life for some people to open their eyes. I find it amusing, because even now, the entire picture has not come out in the open. Colleges collect huge sums of money in the name of “donation/capitation fees” from the students in order to “reserve” seats. Confession: my parents had to shell out Four Lakh Rupees themselves in order to “reserve” a seat in Sathyabama. St Joseph’s and Sathyabama share a compound wall. All owned by the same guy, Jeppiaar, and run by his family. They have 6 Engineering colleges in all, apart from colleges of nursing, dental colleges and even an international school! The average going rate for an engineering seat last year was 4-6 Lakh, with some NRIs having to shell out as much as 12 Lakh for certain seats. And then the tuition fee is an additional 0.75 lakhs(at least) each year. And all this, for an Engineering college which openly refuses to follow the AICTE guidelines and is notorious in the student community! It is no surprise that Jeppiaar is rumoured to have an empire of well over 3,000 Crore! That is 30,000,000,000 Rupees!

My cousin studies in one of the medical colleges which were a part of the “expose.” Luckily for her, high level influence got her a seat without any capitation fee. How much did her classmates have to pay for their seats last year? The lowest was about 45 Lakh, and the highest was up to 75-80 Lakh! And this, just for an MBBS seat! Apparently, an MD in Radiology costs 2 Crore in the same college! Only hard-cash, by the way. THAT is how expensive Sri Ramachandra Medical College is! And there are several hundreds of such students who join each year! Not just that, all this cash is just the under-the-table transaction to book the seat. The actual “tuition fee” needs to be paid each year and that comes up to about 3.25 lakhs a year. Thankfully, at least that bit is declared openly and parents get a receipt, which can be declared which filing income tax returns.

Some students have parents who can handle that kind of money while others have to study using bank loans. But is all this worth it? ABSOLUTELY NOT! The faculty is usually pathetic. Infrastructure is as bad as bad can get. The faculty openly admit that no real practical knowledge can be gained in college because of the lack of infrastructure. Many students come to such colleges due to parental pressure or due to the government’s system which ensures that most deserving candidates don’t get seats in government colleges. It is not that government colleges are any better in terms of faculty or infrastructure, but at least there, there is no “capitation fee.”

And parents are still hell-bent on getting their wards admitted to some such engineering/medical college as they will be “ensuring a bright future” for their kids. Total BS! And now, as if the insane rules and regulations “exposed” last year were not enough, we have this capitation fee scam coming out in the open as well. Something else next year, I am sure. But still, we will find parents forming never-ending queues outside these colleges, even if their kids want to do some very different course like Psychology, Visual Communication or Literature. They know of all the evils and still don’t want to bring about a change. They don’t want to try and bring the evil practices in the open. They don’t want to get themselves in trouble. Why? Because they are “ensuring a bright future” for their kids! Bright, my arse! Effing cretins!

Friendships, Relationships and Screw Ups

Not knowing what your next blog post is going to be about is lousy. It is lousy because you end up writing nothing at times and that only makes you feel even worse. So anyway, I am back with another post, and I am hoping that this does me some good.

Seeing that half the bloggers write on “love” I thought that I should too. Or rather, the lack of it. So here is how my story goes.

As a friend of mine would (wrongly) put it, I am a “pretty” guy. I don’t know if that is a good thing, but it does get a few girls to have a crush on me. Just that I am not interested in them. By them, I mean those girls alone, and NOT the entire sex! So do not go around assuming that I am gay. I am NOT! My friend BOBB might be, though. (There is no content in BOBB’s blog, by the way)

When I was in school I used to HATE getting teased. But I used to be ruthless when it came to teasing my classmates. Gave some people nightmares too, I guess. And so, there were a LOT of people waiting for a chance to pull my leg. The only thing I could do to stay out of that was to keep myself clean. I worked so hard on it, that I would not let the rest of the people get to know about it if someone had a crush on me! I have no idea how I did it, but I would KNOW that someone had a crush on me, confront that person, and make sure that nothing came out! Well, they did, eventually, but I did not get my life screwed. I guess I was lucky, after all that I did to people.

But I guess it was after I came to Chennai in my 10th grade that I changed. I still used to pull people’s legs, but I started handling things differently. I stopped worring about getting my leg pulled. I learnt to look at it differently, and actually have more fun than the people trying to make fun. I would be nice to people, even if they had a crush on me, but I would give them my take on the issue at the very beginning. Meaning, I was very open about the fact that I was single but not really looking. Reason? I was(and still am) in no hurry to get into a relationship. I would make that clear to almost every girl I knew. It also made things a bit easier, because many girls have trust issues(and loads of attitude too ). So once they are convinced that you are not trying to lay them, they actually talk to you freely. Besides, a very good friend of mine has told me that I make a pathetic flirt. In my defense, I never tried to or had the need to flirt. Why would a guy flirt with a girl if he did not want to have anything to do with her? So maybe that has its advantages. People know that you are not trying to flirt, and talk to you more freely. They trust you with everything. And maybe that is the reason why I have had quite a few friends of the opposite sex, with some of them being my closest friends ever(and yes, I am still single! Go on, tell me that I suck).

So if a person tells you that he is not interested in you and will, in all probability, never be interested in you, that is what it is supposed to mean, right? It is easy to tell if a person is lying about something like this. Because excess salivation is almost always a giveaway, and the eyes will not be focussed on the girl’s face if a guy is trying to lie about not wanting anything of “that” sort from a girl.

So having said that, I guess my intentions are pretty clearly established.

I have had a few friends who played party to playing a few pranks on people. As in, where we would act like we were in a relationship(and totally in luuuurve), just for the fun of it, or to get rid of other “pests” who were bugging the girl(s) in question. It is always awesome fun initially. But it is later that things go wrong. At least, it has in most cases so far. In one case, the people who were at the recieving end of the prank took things a bit too seriously. And because a huge gang of friends was involved, things turned nasty. I can’t go into the details now, but it ended with our having a fight with almost all the others because they said/did nasty things. It was real fun initially, even the dirty fight bit, but when the dust settled, the sad reality was obvious. So that did not end well.

In a few other cases things turned out to be pretty different, but much along the lines which most people would expect. Try playing a prank that you are going out and one ends up falling for the other. Thankfully, I was not the victim of the fall. But unfortunately, it ends up spoiling the friendship. I moved my way and they moved theirs. But no, not all have ended. However, the “feeling” is tough to get rid of. I usually try talking it out with the person. If that does not work, I stay away for a short while and get back to being friends once the girl realises what is possible and what is not. Not a very pleasant way, but it usually helps. In yet another case a friend ended up becoming a bit too close and possessive and would expect me to be “my same old self” even if I were having the worst and most hectic month of my life. There is only so much that you can explain. Sending an SMS every now and then, and talking for hours on the phone is not a possibility when you are having crap to handle from all quarters, right? Besides, there are those times when you want to just be able to handle all your things by yourself. People need to give you your space then. Sadly, that was not to be.

So what I have learnt from experience is that go ahead and play pranks if you want to, but be careful. Be VERY VERY careful. It might end up screwing more than just your friendship. It might cause a chain of events and the dog living down your street might die of an accident and it will all be because of the genius in you who decided to play a prank! I will elaborate on that in another post. But that does not mean that I will stop playing such pranks. There are still people out there who can play such pranks, keep it well within limits and have an awesome time. It is fun to humour others, and humour yourself too once in a while. And this, I feel, is one of the best ways to do that.

Anyway, I am 22, a model, and have still not been in any relationship so far. What am I waiting for? However  filmy/stupid it might sound, I am waiting to find “the one.” I have always been against relationships which don’t last. And “love at first sight” is the phrase coined by an imbecile lothario/nymphomaniac who has never been in love, but has wanted to get laid more often than not. I am not for “trying out” to see if a relationship will work. I would rather I waited for a few more years to see if I manage to find “the one.” If not, I guess I can fall back on the age old tradition of arranged marriages. Not that I am for it, though. [Amma, if you are reading this, don't get any ideas, and stop asking me a million questions! I refuse to answer any!]

I really must add one more bit about myself here. It might get some people to hate me, but I have never really cared about that. So yeah, it is very common to see guys running behind girls, desperate to have a “girlfriend.” Even if the only perk is to be able to claim that he has a girl. This makes them desperate. I have seen several instances, and I must admit that they put ALL guys to shame. Especially in a place like Chennai where there are way too many deperate guys and hardly a few girls worth looking at. And because of this, guys are turned on by anything even remotely feminine! A friend of mine once told me, “even cows in Chennai look better than the girls in Trichy.” And this dear friend of mine lives up to expectations till date. He continues to oggle at anything and everything with a “feminine” tag attached to it. And girls take advantage of this. ALL the time! Even a typical “attu figure” in Chennai has an attitude the size of the Himalayas! And that is what I would like to address. There are a few guys who manage to get the girls go weak in their knees. So is there anything wrong if those few guys decide to show some “attitude” as well? If thousands of guys can be made to struggle in the girl chase(never tasting success), let the few guys with the opportunity make at least a few girls sweat it out and fail. What do I mean? If you are a girl and you think I am worth being “your guy,” I don’t think so. If I do have a change of mind, I will get back to you on that. But the chances are slim to none. If you still feel like trying, add my Facebook and Twitter accounts. You will be an addition to the 1400-odd friends that I already have on Facebook.

Ads- Cute, Funny, Meaningful and Brilliant!

No long post this time. Just a set of ads from YouTube which I thought I could share. There are hundreds of ads and videos that I really like- some cute, some laugh-out-loudy funny, some with very strong social messages, some sarcastic as hell and some for the patriotic message that they convey. Though there are several such videos that I would like to share, I will not put them all up here at once. Just a few. Not the best, I guess, but good ones nevertheless. Please be patient for the entire page to load as there are a few videos that WordPress needs to load from YouTube.

Starting with a cute ad first.

Though there are several ads which are really cute, I like this one because it has a good social message, and I respect that.

The next one is one of the first few sports ads that I saw which made me grin ear-to-ear towards the end.

One of the social awareness/patriotic ads which really made me bow down to the creators was this one. An amazing ad which really did move me. Public service ads like this one are rare. VERY rare. It is in Hindi, and so those of you who do not understand Hindi might not get half of what the ad says. The main chorus line says “You walk and India will walk.” Basically urging the people to lead by example and play their roles as responsible citizens. I can confidently say that this is the most motivational ad that I have seen. And I know many who agree with me on that.

There is also this ad that my friend made for a competition on YouTube, to raise awareness on climate change and the need to stop global warming. 8 more days to go for the end of the competition. Please do rate this particular video on YouTube, and favourite it too. It can help her go a long way in the competition.

And now for some funny stuff.  I leave you with three ads. Like I said earlier, there might be other ads which funnier, but these are just a few to get started. Hope you like them.

The last one, especially, is awesome. I wonder how people come up with such brilliant and hilarious ideas. Anyway, hope you liked all the ads here. These are just a few ads that I felt like sharing at the moment. If you feel there are others that are even better, please do post the links in the comments section for all of us to check them out immediately.

Spam, Perverts, Pinkies, Bans, “BRING BACK” Groups: Facebook

“Warning: Your Facebook Account

Facebook to me

Hi,

Our systems indicate that you’ve been misusing certain features on the site.  This email serves as a warning.  Misuse of Facebook’s features or violating Facebook’s terms of use may result in your account being disabled.  Thanks in advance for your understanding and cooperation.

If you have any questions, please contact warning@facebook.com from your login email address.

The Facebook Team”

That is the mail which I happened to notice in my gmail inbox yesterday. A very sad moment indeed. A day before I got that mail, I had got the “pinky” while accessing my Facebook inbox. For those of you who are not familiar with  Facebook’s “pinky,” it is the warning that you get when you are accused of suspicious activity by facebook and it asks you to “slow down.” Some of us active members of Facebook call it the “pinky” because it has a pink background and though pink is a very harmless colour, that warning is enough to stop any FB member dead on his/her tracks.

So why do people get pinkies on FB? Well, from what I have seen, these are the most common reasons:

1. Sending too many messages to people/FB groups.

2. Writing on the walls of way too many people/writing too much on a few people’s walls.

3. Excessive picture comments.

4. Posting too many links too often on your status message(Maybe this did me in).

5. Getting reported by other members for illegal activities.

There might be other reasons, but these are the common ones which I have noticed. So yeah, over the past 2 weeks, I have noticed a few friends getting blocked, and a lot many more friends getting pinkies. It is just plain sad. From what we hear, FB authorities are being very strict for a while now because of some phishing scam that Facebook is now being threatened by. You can find more details about the phishing scam here.

What I find unfair about this whole thing is that many of us active FB users, who are very active on a few applications and groups, are the ones who are most affected by such stupid attempts at sabotaging FB and its users’ accounts. Here is an example of the kind of “suspicious” conversations people have.

Person 1:
YAHOOO
back in da house after long time

Person 2:
Pipipipipipipipipi!

Person 3:
p0o !

Person 4:
booooooooooooooooooooo

Person 3:
dangggg!
u scared us 0ff uncle picchu!

Person 5:
CF with JAYCHOU Lifted.

Person 6:
=P

Person 5:
End page for nuzri.

Now just how harmful/suspicious do you think those conversations are? For one, they don’t even make any sense! And FB disables people for saying stuff like that to each other all the time! Here is another example:

> Bom Boom

>damn i juz notice d title :/

> Damm
I just noticed that u are here\

> Is he good, Raj ? :p

> is he a she

> Dunno man, you tell us. “it” is giving you the blow, check check.

> who is giving chris a blow? ;O

> ?

> Som1 freaky is justgonna give

> ? :S

> lol confused again.. :p

> Good confussing will make u concertrate at this message more

> haha, yea thats true lol

> We Jump, We Explode, We Sak. While Izzy gives Raj a blow. /

> why dont u give chris a blow? :p

> -___-”

Very suspicious indeed!

So we choose to have some fun, but FB decides to block people who are having fun with the excuse that people are indulging in “suspicious and illegal acivities, and maybe misusing the features of Facebook!”

One of our beloved and perverted(! ) friends got disabled less than two days ago. There are people screaming their throats hoarse asking FB to return his account. And this is just one of the many occurances. I just checked the number of group invites that I have on FB. Of the 73 group invites that I now have, 42 are “GET BACK someone!” groups. And barring 2-3 of them, almost all of them deserve to be brought back. Yes, there are some freaks who use several fake profiles in FB in order to use them all in applications and make some fake cash, but that is not the case with most people who get blocked.

The worst part is when you get blocked/disabled without any warning. Like in the case of our dear perverted friend, Dakshitha. Agreed that he is a noob in every sense, but he still does not deserve to have his account taken away from him. Some posts from the wall of the “Bring Back Dakshitha Gunasekara” group:

Sanjay Ramanathan wrote
at 9:48am yesterday
Get Dakshita Back on Facebook NOW!!!
He’s a Wonderful Person!!
I’m sure He did not possess any Drugs, or the Weapons of Mass destruction!!!

Dwayne J Beckles (Barbados) wrote
at 9:46am yesterday
no more pervert??

Shankaranarayanan Pichumani wrote
at 12:37am yesterday
stop the ass whipping give his butt back to him. v need our pervy perverson

Samuel Tan wrote
at 9:06pm on May 20th, 2009
Told you not to distribute porn in fb. u see!! Bring him back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[In his defence, he did not distribute porn. He just watched too much, but not on FB. ]

Kristin Jacobs Leis wrote
at 7:29pm on May 20th, 2009
BRING BACK THE PORN KING!!!! LOL jk…please bring back respectable Dash…hmmm just bring back Dash please!!!!!

So yeah, this is the kind of stuff that goes on on a daily basis. Respectable (er, okay, I take that back) people keep getting blocked/disabled on a daily basis and some never get it back. There are even cases where some have had to create over 7 or 8 accounts as FB is totally in love with their accounts and keeps snatching the accounts on a weekly/monthly basis.

I have no idea what the point of this blog is. If you do, and have something to say in this regard, please use the comments section.

Oh! Actually, I think I DO know the point. Freaks in Facebook, if you are reading this, STOP disabling people’s accounts for no joy! You SAK! Yes, SAK!