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Why NOT Sathyabama: Part 1

July 2, 2009

Now this is something I was discussing with my friend Shankar the other day when he told me that Sathyabama was going to launch a satellite in 2010. My reaction: “WTF?!?!?! You must be kidding me! That is insane!” After a minute or two, I realised that it was not really something to be all that surprised about. I checked out the news article and laughed my arse off several times. Here is why:

First, it states that “The Indian Space Research Organisation (ISRO) will launch a nano satellite designed and developed by students of Sathyabama University for free.” Sathyabama doing some such thing for free? LMFAO! Yeah right! It has an ulterior motive always. AL-effing-WAYS! It then goes on to say that the satellite will “study air and earth surface pollution.” For a guy who does not have a single tree in the entire university campus to come out with a public statement that he wants to study the air and surface pollution, he really must have some balls. Sadly, most people still fall for it.

But that is not all. It says that the ISRO’s chairman confirmed this news “after interacting with students associated with designing the satellite at Sathyabhama University.” I will tell you something. Neither me nor my friend Shankar has seen or heard of a single student who has been working on anything to do with the ISRO, leave alone building a satellite. Yes, the college does boast of having some tie ups with the ISRO, but it only boasts. I have seen a board or two in college which says ISRO or some such thing, but have always found such boards outside locked and/or empty rooms. And for the university to claim that “A Space Technology Centre has been established to conduct advanced research in rocketry, satellites and space applications in university campus,” it is absolute trash, the way many of us (ex)students look at it. Something along the lines of the Nanotechnology Research Centre that Sathayabama has been claiming to be building for over 5 years now, but we haven’t seen a single brick being laid in that direction. Jeppiaar has even been claiming that the DRDO(Defence Research and Development Organisation) has requested him(his college) to make “nano banians!” Nano “vests,” that is. It will “keep the army men cool in summer and warm in winter.” A nice idea indeed, but shouldn’t they have at least started SOMETHING nano before doing any such thing? How about building a block for starters? And how about NOT talking about the projects which the country’s defence research organisation wants to work on? Loser!

I literally fell off my sofa(I do get to be lazy while using the laptop late in the night, don’t I?) when I read that the design department “includes a team of 27 students to build the satellite.”

27 students?!?!?! LMFAO! Can you name one, please? And then I read this:

“The third-year engineering students were selected by ISRO after a screening process that included a written test and interview.”

Okay, now that seems plausible, right? Wrong! Knowing the way Sathyabama works, I am SURE that that is not how things would have worked. Anyway, I will give them(the ISRO and NOT Sathyabama) the benefit of the doubt.

“It is impressive to see that the students developing the concept quickly. Their clarity of concept and commitment to completing the project by the end of the year is impressive,” Nair said- I have too many not-so-nice-things to say in response to this and so I might as well skip that.

Now if you thought that even all that was fine, you need to check out the very last line of the article. Here is how it reads:

Jeppiar, pro chancellor, Sathyabama University said: “We are planning to buy a 15-seater aircraft soon. An air hostess training course will also be started to benefit students from rural areas.” He is buying a 15-seater aircraft for air hostess training for girls from rural areas? Sounds very much like the nursing college that he had(I am not sure if it still exists) and there were LOADS of rumours that he did several things he should not have done to those “girls from poor backgrounds.” Something I was totally shocked to hear that first, as I actually respected(and still do, but to a lower extent than I did initially) the guy. And he says will run an air hostess training academy using a 15-seater aircraft! He expects people to believe this humbug?! The worst part is, they will! Oh! And that statement of his must have been funny as hell when he actually said it. The journalist who interviewed him must have died laughing, and it must have been framed to seem like a sensible statement by someone who had the notes or something(and died laughing eventually reading those notes several times). Want to know what the guy talks like? Check this and this.

So what do I have to say to those who are considering they will get their kids to join Sathyabama? DON’T you ever make that mistake! Many a parent has regretted it, and a lot many students feel even worse.  The only thing that the college was known for is the food that it serves in its mess halls. And even that is much worse than what it was 3-4 years ago. The quality of teaching is as sub-standard as it has ever been, though some of the staff put in the effort. Hats off to those few. The rest of them are there, I quote, “because it pays more than many other colleges in the city, and has friendlier timings. Women can get back home to meet their kids just in time when the kids get back from school.” If that is the reason why lecturers and professors stick to the college, you seriously do need to reconsider getting yours kids to join the institution(not sure if this place even ethically qualifies to be called that). It is only after you join the place and spend a couple of years there that you get to know that not even the staff are happy with the place. They are there because they have no choice. Stuck , would be an apt term, I guess.

So while you still have the choice, stay away from the place. Far FAR away. You will not regret it. And you can actually go “Awwwww” or “HAHAHAHAHA” at the unfortunate ones like me who did get in(and luckily out too) to the “hell hole,” as we call it.

I am sorry for having a slightly serious post this time. Many might complain, I am sure. I assure you that the next one will be more entertaining, and yet filled with more convincing facts.

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8 Comments leave one →
  1. Dilip permalink
    July 2, 2009 12:43 PM

    Hey long time since the last one…? K. About satellite, i too read the article, they ”might be” working on it not too sure…!
    ”Pro chancellor” said about the nano centre in 2005 and now its 2009 still he speaks about it…..but no results ha?this might happen in case of aircraft also……! He also spoke about pollution and environment during our convocation day, first he should look at his university…which has 3 trees (ha ha……! approx). During that day even chief guests (also) might hav laughed at his speech…..
    If u had been there u might had taken the running notes Lol…!

    • July 2, 2009 12:51 PM

      Jeppiaar has been talking about the Nanotechnology park since 2004 or 2003, apparently. Or so I heard from seniors. And he has been talking about the “nano banian” since then!

      I have no idea about the aircraft. Tell me one thing, he has not been able to construct a block for his Nanotechnology and Biotechnology “research centres” for over 5 years now, but do you think he will construct a runway within a few months for the aircrafts? A RUN WAY!!! Yeah right! But then again, knowing our college, I guess he might just buy the body of the aircraft with a few seats and let it stay in some room or near the mess hall or something for everyone to see. His reasoning? “What does it matter whether the flight is in air or on the ground, the air hostess’ job is the same, right?” Trust me, he actually might end up doing some such thing! And you will not be one bit surprised then.

      As for the convocation, I guess I am glad I stayed away from it. I have taken down enough notes to last me a lifetime, even though I did so on only about 4 times(we were not unfortunate enough to attend more of his addresses).

  2. Anonymous permalink
    July 2, 2009 3:33 PM

    never read about the satellite.Very unlikely that these guys actually did it but will give them the benefit of the doubt.However JPR’s air hostess plans are well.., insane.Wonder what the uniform will be for these students.Also wonder whether the guys and girls will actually interact(Gasp) on a regular basis, interesting to see what develops.

  3. Sujit permalink
    July 2, 2009 7:57 PM

    hey … nice blog …

    the article on the whole may sound ridiculous to any sathyabama student and their parents too …. but one thing is for sure … a few students were selected for designing a satellite for the following year (that’s what I’ve heard from the dept.). and about these ppl completing the given work is a doubt … but the VLSI H.O.D as i have heard has done enough research(which i hardly could believe) … anyway I think Sathyabama may come up with a sucessful satellite (assuming ISRO has given resources to the University) ….. and the 15-seater flight …. as u say …. it sounds like a joke ….
    I surely want to see Kannan sir coming up with some good design ….

  4. July 22, 2009 1:44 PM

    Well written article! Will definitely come back again!

  5. Dylan permalink
    October 28, 2009 3:54 PM

    Hahahaha!!!! Hey man its really funny !!! i hope d college cn back wat dey r saying!!!! hahaha !!!!

  6. sumit kumar permalink
    April 4, 2010 1:15 PM

    hahhhhaa… I am happy that i left this hell… they didnt kicked bt i kicked the university …right wtritten boss…

  7. Anonymous permalink
    October 20, 2014 1:26 PM

    The hostels are the worst part of Sathyabama ….

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